Hello to my darling prairie dogs!
The season of love is here! Goodness, I can’t imagine anyone has experienced love more than me!
Boys love me!
Girls love me!
I love me!
But certainly the greatest love of all was when the beauty pageant judges chose me to wear that bejeweled community crown as Miss Richfield 1981 on July 4th in the year of our Lord, 1981 just because I was the only contestant left, after Trudy Olson’s flaming baton accident took out all the other girls in an enormous blaze, I still won!
So now I am thinking about the “other” love. You know, from a special man who knows how to love a woman with her hair wrapped in toilet paper. I need the kind of man who understands a professional career woman who sleeps with her handbag and wears glasses and dress gloves to bed. I need a man who looks good standing in my substantial shadow cast by my enormous bouffant.
My search has led me to go high tech and look for love over the phone lines. So I plugged in my Apple IIE and tried to begin the delicate and complicated process of dial-up computer dating.
First off, they require you to talk about yourself. Now as a good Christian, I don’t feel comfortable doing that! But I did my best. And figuring that they might be charging by the letter, I came up with a few abbreviations. Let me know what you think:
“PW HWP YL RH MS SP L BPTHW NB seeks MNK.”
For all of you old folks who don’t know the codes, that means professional, white, height and weight proportional, young-looking, raven-haired, Midwestern suburban, saw-playing, Lutheran, beauty-pageant-title-holder-winner with natural beauty and charm seeks man with NO kids.
I’m also including this photo and so far I’ve had only two responses – a priest from Cleveland and a very sweet, local hydrocephalic. Neither of those worked because I’m not Catholic and I don’t drive a convertible.
So wish me luck! And have a happy Valentine’s Day!!!
XO and one to Jesus,
Miss R 1981