Category Archives: Mexico

Everything’s Cheaper in Mexico, Even Me!!

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Everything’s Cheaper in Mexico, Even Me!!

Oct. 26, 2009

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

I just got back from Mexico and boy are my maracas tired!

I would be even more tired if I didn’t have some excellent help on this last Atlantis cruise on the Royal Caribbean Mariner of the Seas.

You see a week ago, me and 3,200 homos hit the high seas out of LA heading south to Mexico and right into the path of that nasty Hurricane Rick. Well that’s the kind of man I do not need chasing me! I feared for my life! What would I do?

Fortunately I calmed my nerves with a cup of Sanka and had myself cloned.

I thought it best, hoping that one of the 11 of us would make it through the storm to continue my ministry of Richfield! As it turned out, we all made it through the storm fine, so now I don’t know what to do with all these gals.

They truly are the nicest group you could ever meet! But I just can’t get a word in edgewise with all these darling, but very chatty Richfields around me.

So I think I may send them on tour. I hear Afghanistan is be nice this time of year.

XO and one to Jesus!
Miss R 1981

What Would Jesus Do? Dance!

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What Would Jesus Do? Dance!

May 6, 2009

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

And a very special “hola” to my Mexican friends! I realize this is a day late for Cinco de Mayo, but I find most Mexicans generally don’t know what day it is anyway!

Super duper sorry for the delay in corresponding with you folks! If it wasn’t for a Mexican holiday, I may never have written again!

But Mexico holds a special place for me since I met Jesus there last year. Yes, there I was on Halloween with my friend Cashetta, jumping around to that god-awful pots-and-pans music that the boys dance to these days. As I glanced across the floor, I spied this handsome thing with thick locks of hair, a bushy beard and a flowing robe with matching sandals.

Well, many of you know that I adore the bears and I’m half Jewish (from the waist up). I’ve always gone for the dark, seamy, unwashed, scrubby, I-just-parked-my-camel-out-back sort of fellows! That’s why last December I cancelled my Christmas show at Gitmo, because I just knew I would have ended up married to one of those darn terrorists!

Then upon closer inspection, I realized that it wasn’t just your ordinary sand-traveler. Dear God, this was my Lord and Savior!

At first I thought, “What’s Jesus doing in Mexico on Halloween?” Then I thought, “What’s Jesus doing in Mexico period?!?”

I took Cashetta with me, after explaining who Jesus was and making her promise to leave him alone! Goodness, Jesus was much shorter than I’d imagined, but isn’t that always way with celebs?!?

We chatted and I thanked him again for his ultimate sacrifice. Then we took this lovely snap and just like 2,000 years ago, he was gone. Just like that! Gone!

Thank heavens I have the photo to remember, and a toilet paper cozy of him rising from the dead that my mother crocheted in 1974.

I’m preparing for Ptown! Are you?

XO and one to Jesus!
Miss R

Anyone Have Change For A $200 Peso?

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Anyone Have Change For A $200 Peso?

November 21, 2008

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs,

I adore traveling, but there is nothing better than stepping off the bus in Richfield. My heart skips a beat as I get that first glimpse of the hitch on the front of my home I’ve been in Mexico since early October, and even a cultured gal like me can tire of piñatas, mariachi trumpets, and the constant sound of leaf blowers.

So I longed to return to blustery Minnesota! But I almost didn’t make the trip back because the bus in Puerto Vallarta requires exact change! They will also accept payment by tequila, live chickens or small brown babies, but I didn’t have any of those!

Then I started to panic and ran into a café for a cup of Sanka to calm my nerves. That’s when I found this nice young man who had pesos just hanging out of his bathing suit. He was just standing on the counter like he was waiting for me! I thought I died and went to heaven!

So I flashed him a 200 peso and he pointed to his pesos, and it looked like he had quite a few bills tucked away there. I suppose he couldn’t afford a wallet. Judging from his pointing and smiling, he obviously didn’t speak English, so I just helped myself and easily found the right change. Of course I needed to dig a bit for the coins, which were on the bottom.

He was so happy to serve me that he actually started dancing after I got my glove out of his trousers. I adore the Third World!

XO and one to Jesus,
Miss R

Mexican Monkey Madness!

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Mexican Monkey Madness!

October 15, 2008

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

I just got back to Richfield last week after 4 months in Ptown! And the nice ladies at A Mighty Fortress Is Our God Lutheran Church, my home congregation, have already raised enough money to buy me a one-way bus ticket to Mexico! Well actually I’m going to Los Angeles, but let’s not split hairs I’m now on the Greyhound moving south, where I will be joining the Atlantis Events Mexican Riviera Cruise! And coincidentally the ship will be visiting Mexico this year! I don’t know our ports of call, but it really doesn’t matter, as the Third World all looks the same to me!

I hope this year’s trip will be as exciting as our time in Cancun last April. That’s when I included one of the locals in my act – this darling little monkey named Ted, who played the piano, tapped danced and rode on the back of a dog.

Ted just approached me on the beach and offered to work for peanuts, literally! So we started rehearsing, and that monkey insisted that we do “Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer,” one of the delightful tunes from the musical “Cats.”

I’d done that number once with a trained seal at the Como Zoo in St. Paul, but never with a monkey and a dog! That just sounded ridiculous.

So I started looking into the monkey’s past. Ted told me that he’d done the Berlin cabaret circuit, a couple years Off-Broadway, and opened for Wayne Newton in Vegas. All that turned out to be false, much like his name, which was not Ted; it was Whiplash the Subway monkey of TV advertising fame!

Apparently he’d made some sort of sex film and was let go by Subway. Now poor Whiplash was down on his luck in Mexico trying to break into the tourist entertainment trade. I had to explain to Whiplash that my church sponsors my trips and that I had to keep my show family-based.

The last I remember was Whiplash riding into the sunset on the back of that dog, who apparently was not in the sex film, but sadly implicated only by association.

XO and one to Jesus!
Miss R