June 19, 2009

Hello to all my darling prairie dogs!

This Midwest maven is on her platformed toes this summer, as my new Ptown show, “Asians & Homos & Jews, Oh My!” attracts quality crowds and locals to the Art House every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. As usual, this year’s superior production is another embarrassing success! I know it’s good because liquor sales are up, up, up, especially after the show. And I know I’m making a difference this year because people are asking questions, such as “Wow, you’re still here?” and “Have you ever thought of selling real estate?”

Surprisingly, not everyone knows how successful my ministry has become, so I still need to be on the streets of Ptown directly working with the public to encourage, cajole, and often gently assault passersby or I wouldn’t sell any tickets to my excellent theatrical extravaganza!

Last Saturday, just as I was ready to start hitting people over the head with my umbrella, these children came along and loitered, which upset me terribly since I don’t care for children. I thought of shooing them away since they’re often sticky and my outfit has to be dry-cleaned.

But after just a moment or two, it was like I was standing there with four trained monkeys! People were stopping to look, take photos, and talk to me!

It’s hard to believe, but these kids were willing to stand with me for hours in return for 11 packets of sugar, two rubber bands, and half a roll of cherry Lifesavers! It wasn’t much, but it’s all I had in my handbag, except the Pamprin with codeine, which I knew I would need during the second half of the show!

So tomorrow I’m going to buy some children. I don’t know where, but I’m willing to spend up to $25 – that should get me something, probably in a darker shade! Wish me luck!

Keep in touch and plan to come and see my show in Ptown! I’m there all summer!

XO and one to Jesus,
Miss R